December 23, 2010.
Christmas looms on the horizon and as I try to sound like an actual writer, people grow increasingly anxious for gifts and other various holiday treats.
Christmas, no longer just a celebration of the birth of our lord an savior, it is now something so much.... less. A commercialized flurry of new gadgets, incredible holiday offers, and being really depressed. To be honest, I'm not ever sure people realize what is being celebrated anymore or that there's even a celebration going on. We're all too busy trying to get the last Tickle Me Elmo or feeling guilty all we could afford is $5.00 toward way too much "coffee" at Starbucks.
Earlier today I was wished a Merry Christmas Eve Eve. Yes, there was actually a second eve and while I respect the person who said it to me, the only response I could muster.... "I'm Jewish". Christmas is great, but not so great I'm going to go around wishing people Merry Christmas 3-6 days in advance.
Christmas, no longer just a celebration of the birth of our lord and savior, it's now something much... more. Tis the season for gross over consumption. Did you know: The average person consumes 600 more calories per day between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Essentially that is 2 extra meals per day and roughly 15,000 calories throughout the "25 days of Christmas". For those of you who aren't in the physical fitness industry, that's just over 4 lbs of body fat in less than a month. No wonder everybody feels guilty at the start of the year and make there's New Years Resolution to get in shape.
It's not just food that's being over consumed, either. Christmas time is an emotional roller coaster. Holiday traffic sucks, seeing family is great, too much family sucks (that's why I live in Texas... you guys have to love me since you hardly see me), getting gifts is exciting, getting gifts causes grief, especially if you get something that sucks, holiday travel is fun, but getting home and seeing the bag throwers at the airport broke everything in your suitcase sucks. See?
In conclusion, welcome to the most wonderful time of the year. Make it a point to enjoy the next few days because next week everyone's going to be fat, stressed, broke, and lonely. Yes, reality is fantastic! If there's one thing I know for certain it's; no matter how bad life gets, there's always BEER or if you're counting calories, vodka.
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