Coping Skills?? I have booze.

As you've probably learned, I love to talk about myself! I used to think the only thing I wasn't good at was being bad at stuff, but today I learned that I lack certain skills. Not like nun-chuck skills or other various skills that require physicality. I appear to lack certain social and communication skills. I've been looking for them, but can't find the rock they're hiding under. I'm going to compile a list of these skills and if you have any idea of their whereabouts please let me know.

Compliments. No thank you. I will be neither giving or receiving any of those I honestly don't know how. I think I only know how to give sideways compliments like "Hey, I'm glad you aren't ugly." or "That dress looks good on you, but it would look GREAT on me!". I'm even worse at taking compliments. All compliments given to me are followed by awkward silence and a half hearted "thanks".

Listening. Usually I don't really care to hear what others have to say because I'll probably have to think of a compliment to give them after they tell me their 1 upper story. Listen (not like me), I don't want to hear a story better than the one I told. If I were fishing for that I'd just ask if you had any good stories I wouldn't strategically tell a story because I knew you had a better one of similar origins.

Talking. I don't want to talk things out. I'll only enter an arguement in which I know I'm right. Duh, it's called "strategery". Also, refer to article 2 of "things I'm lacking".... if there's something that needs to be talked out, I'm not going to listen to what you have to say anyway.

Having feelings. I'm basically a robot incapable of experiencing normal human emotions such as: joy, happiness, sadness, anger, or even confusion. Mostly because every time I feel one of them starting to creep up I hit the bottle. That's right, who needs coping skills when booze is so readily available.

Typically I would proof read this, but since I don't have any booze at the house I'm going to have to skip that step. Something I've written may stir up some hidden emotion I'm, at this point and time, completely unaware of. If you find any spelling errors please let me know.... those I'll listen to.